Tuesday, August 10, 2010


 Let me share my timeline of exhaustion, just for the sake of sympathy.  I haven't slept for 3 years.  Ok...maybe that's a slight exaggeration, but I am probably not stretching the truth much by saying that I could probably count on one hand how many times I have slept a solid 8 hours in the last 3 years.  You see, 3 years ago I was 7 months pregnant with X-man, no longer expelling the contents of my stomach as much, but I was enormous.  Sleep was failing me.  I would be up at least once a night to visit the bathroom much to the relief of my poor smooshed bladder.  On top of that I had excruciating hip pain.  Sleeping on belly or back was, of course, impossible and 20 minutes on either side and I would have to shift to the other to momentarily relieve my hips.  I have heard it said that this is just God's little plan to prepare you for the birth of the baby causing all this discomfort...we all know that new parents are lacking in the sleep department.  I think it's more of a cruel joke.  The last 2 months should be the time when we can relish in childlessness and catch the last few guiltless, worry-less winks for the next 18+ years.  Who am I to argue with God, though?  I am hardly the first, nor the last to experience this method of "infant-preparation".  

October 27th, 2007 rolled around and the little man arrived without complication.  Instead of relishing in the first month when all the helpless little being does is sleep, J and I spent every last second, day in and day out, watching said little being sleep!  Hindsight is 20/20 as they say!  From here, things get foggy.  Night after night of zombie-like wakings to burp, rock, nurse, diaper change and adore creates this unique kind of fog.  All I know is that this fog lasted a LOT longer for me than it did for all the mommy friends around me!  I have come to realize that I don't make sleepers!  I want to slap the well-meaning mom (you know who you are) who tells me, "I don't know what to tell you.  Gertrude has been sleeping through the night since she was 3 weeks old!"  I survived, though, and by 10 months of age, X-man was starting to figure it out.  At least it was usually down to one wake-up session a night.  At 10 months and 2 days, we found out we were expecting #2.  Let the puking commence!  By 14ish months, I would be comfortable saying that X-man was an expert sleeper...and Mommy needed lessons.  I spent every day chasing an extremely active toddler and tossing him cookies, while trying not to toss mine.  By bedtime for him, I would collapse on the couch for a much needed foot rub from my adoring hubby and pass out...only to be awakened by the uncontrollable urge to vomit.  Nights that my nausea was manageable, I would wake up with such severe hunger I would consider eating an arm...or something closer than the kitchen pantry provided.  Sleep continued to escape me.  

After a very long and strenuous pregnancy, little Gokey (a name given to him by big brother lacking the ability to say his proper name) finally arrived, May 5th, 2009!  By the end of his first week Gokey was sleeping 5-6 hour stretches at night, while X-man, struggling with this extreme resource-sucking arrival, was up multiple times.  By Gokey's 3rd month, his pattern went out the window as X-man fell back into his great sleeping routine again.  Could you give a mom a break?  It really was OK...at this point I was so used to having no consistency that I just somehow functioned.  Afterall, it had been 2 years since I had a normal sleep schedule.  

Gokey has reached 15 months...in the past 6-8 weeks, following in big brother's footsteps, he has finally realized the value of a true, full-night's sleep.  Almost without fail he sleeps from 7:30 pm to 6 am every night.  The kicker?  X-man is now up at least once a night!  My only conclusion is that they have some twisted little game going between the two of them to slowly suck the sanity from Momma...and it's working!  While I was existing quite well on virtually no sleep, I am suffering greatly with the 4 hour stretches I get now and being ripped from such a peaceful slumber to assist with a potty or drink break.  So...here I write...the boys and had a normal morning of adventure at a county fair a county away (because I somehow missed ours), they had a great nap in the car and now we are home, they are bouncing off of the walls...and I am EXHAUSTED!

They are still stinkin' cute!

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