Wednesday, October 27, 2010

The Birth of a Mommy...

Dear X-man,

I am having a hard time grasping that I have already been a mother for 3 years.  Or should I say, that I have  only been a mom for 3 years.  It's quite the conundrum.  It has all gone by in such a flash, but at the same time, it is hard to remember life before you!  Let's see...this day, 3 years ago was a monumental one for your daddy and me.  It was a day of anxiety, excruciating pain and the most blissful high I have ever known...all in the span of 10ish hours!  The moment you slipped into this world, there was so much commotion--nurses gasping over your lengthy eyelashes, monitors beeping, your daddy cheering to me over the feat that had just been conquered--it all faded when you took your first little breath and those first sweet, squeaky newborn cries escaped from your little body.  Your dad snipped your umbilical cord (like a pro), grinning from ear to ear with pride and they plopped your gray little self onto my chest and I watched your skin turn pink with each little breath you took as I examined each little finger and toe and double checked to make sure that the sonograms were not wrong and that you were, indeed, a little boy! :)  During my pregnancy with you I spent far too much time watching these baby shows all over television because I had this unstoppable desire to soak every tidbit of information in about pregnancy, childbirth and parenting.  During one of these episodes, I remember a midwife saying something along the lines of, "in that first moment when baby opens his eyes and looks into the face of his mother as she gazes back--it's in that tiny moment that, just briefly, you see the face of God."  She must be right, because there's just no other way to describe the sheer magnitude of that moment.

So...that is how I became a mom!  It was impossible at that time to even imagine what the next 3 years (and beyond) would bring and just the mention of the future and trying to envision a "3 year old" seemed so far off!  Yet, it has flown by!  You are quite the little man and such a first child!  You love a task and are eager  to help in any way that you should be allowed, especially if it involves Dad's tools.  You have developed quite the tidy nature and truly hate to be dirty (unless, of course, getting dirty was the mission) and must always have a napkin when you are eating and are extremely bothered by messes.  Perhaps that is why, as a 1 year old, your favorite toys were a broom and child-sized vacuum cleaner.  You are a little bundle of "go" and have kept me busy from the time you started crawling at 6 months to this very day.  You have a laugh that is extremely contagious and even strangers find it difficult to stifle a smile in passing when you are having a giggle fit.  You have become so caring and empathetic in your "old" age.  If I happen to stub my toe as I tidy up the living room, you immediately ask if I am OK and are quick to hand out hugs and kisses to alleviate any lingering pain.  Though, you weren't sure about him in the beginning, you adore your little brother and are pretty great at sharing toys, dogs, parents and living space with him.  Your love for him becomes especially evident if you feel like his safety is threatened in any way.  At the mere suggestion that I take him tubing behind Papa's boat, you backed him into a corner and attempted to hold all adults at bay with an outstretched hand and pleadings of "NO!"  When that failed and he and I were in the tube behind the boat, you reminded Papa the entire time to "go really really slow."

You are, of course, 3 years old now, and even this preceding year has taught us that as sweet as you can be, there is a true opposite to this sweetness that you have very real possession of.  You are a tough kid, and most often seem unfazed by most bumps, falls and scrapes, but when the pain is real, you make sure that we are aware of it with a scream that any horror film starlet would be jealous of.  All in all, though, you are the first of my two greatest masterpieces and the source of more pride than any well-paying career or accomplishment could provide.  Thank you for teaching me this...before you, I always thought I wanted to juggle a career and motherhood.  It was your tiny, amazing existence that helped me discover that shaping and molding a little human being was what I wanted to do all day, every day, and there wasn't a job out there that could keep my focus from you.  I am forever thankful that we have been given the means to allow me to be with you and your little brother day in and day out for almost all of the last 3 years.

So...that brings us to this day--October 27th, 2010.  Three years old!  We celebrated with our closest family last weekend.  You got everything you ever wished for...lots of spaceships!  You have slept with the spaceship that Nana gave you every night since.  Last night you went to bed and we talked about how tomorrow you would be 3 years old and all of the fun stuff we were going to do.  You woke up a couple of hours later rather sickly.  What timing! :(  So, you slept with me on the couches in the living room pushed up next to each other to give us ample room (since you always seem to end up horizontal in your sleep).  In the middle of the night you woke up feeling so cruddy and I helped to lull you back to sleep and took an extra 30 minutes to just watch you slumber like your Dad and I used to do when you were a newborn and every gas-induced grimace was so adorable.  I haven't been able to do that in such a long time...there may have even been a tear or two from me.  Though it was a restless night, it was so fitting to be able to sleep with my arms around my little boy on the eve of his birth.  Despite your sick little self, we have had a great day.  You got your big boy bike from your Dad and me this morning and you already have it mastered after some major practicing in the basement.  We had a short trip to the zoo and then I told you we could have whatever your little heart desired for chose peanut butter and jelly, of course!  Now you have a fever and are having a hard time making a nap happen, so you have spent the last hour bouncing back and forth from the couch to my lap in front of the computer for a quick snuggle with your hot little body.  I love you more than I could ever put into words, little man!  Thank you for the last 3 years and I cannot wait to see what the next year brings...sssslllloooowwwwlllyyy! :)  Happy Birthday!

Love you...



  1. What an amazing post, T. You truly relayed what a perfect miracle your three year old is. Loved it, and love you too.

  2. Very sweet, T! Give that boy a hug from us, and give yourself one, too. Happy Momma birthday!