Tuesday, February 28, 2012

IT'S A...

Do you really wanna know???  If you have talked to me in the last 10ish weeks, you have most likely heard me say something along the lines of, "I would be willing to bet this house that I am having another girl."  I was horribly, awfully, miserably sick from 6 weeks until the bitter end with both of my boys.  My pregnancy with Jilly Bean was drastically different.  Still sick, but SO so so much much better...dare I say, tolerable?  :)  This one has been very similar to the last.  Sickly for the first 10-12 weeks, but then very much back on track and feeling well.

We had our big sonogram today and took X-man with us for the occasion.  He is so intrigued with the whole process and has 4 million questions, so we thought he would really like to see his baby sibling on the big screen.  He was very attentive and J spent the whole time being the technician's "Vanna White," pointing to and explaining everything that we were seeing on the big screen.  Our technician even asked if he could stay the rest of the day to explain it all to her following patients. :)  He would tell X-man, "see, there's HER little arm," or, "look, there's her heart beating."  The tech finally got to the end of the process after checking out all of the vitals and said, "uh, Dad...that's no girl!"  It is true...we are having BOY #3!!!!  So absolutely shocked because I was so convinced that this was another girl!  I am stoked, however, that I am not miserable and heaving into the toilet at this very moment as history would suggest I should be.  J was so shocked that he asked her to go back and get a second look at the "evidence" to make sure it was correct...there's really no mistaking it, though. :)



So...Jilly will be a very spoiled, heavily protected little girl and we are so so so excited to be welcoming our 4th baby and 3rd little boy into this beautiful world!  Yay for boys...and thank God for perfect, tiny blessings!

Monday, February 13, 2012

SNOW DAY...Kinda

At least as much of a snow day as we have seen at all this season.  Gokey just got over a bout of "the crud" and X-man is now fighting it, but this is the first snow they have seen this winter.  How could I deny them the fun that comes along with it?  So...let the Mother of the Year nominations roll in!  I bundled up those little bodies...coughing, snotty noses and maybe even a bit of a fever included and sent them out into the elements.  It only lasted 10 minutes max for the boys and Jilly Bean was far from impressed with her first introduction to the cold, white stuff, so her visit lasted about 45 seconds. :)








 


What better way to warm back up???  Hot chocolate, of course!  We made the best of it and now it's naptime for all!  Happy winter, everyone!










Monday, January 23, 2012

Fabulous Four

As I sit here listening to my baby, Jilly Bean babble and coo as she sits on the floor playing with her toys, I find myself still in disbelief that I will have another infant in the house in the next 6 months!  Yep...you read that right!  I am pregnant...again! :)

OMGosh!!!
Before you feel the need to comment, yes, I do know how this happens and no, I don't know if this is our last one.  I made the mistake of feeling the completeness of my little family when Jilly was born and look what happened!  Ha...we are less powerful than we think we are.  It's true that I was very shocked and bewildered when I found out, but as the pregnancy has progressed and I spend another morning visiting my porcelain friend (believe me, we are tight after 4 pregnancies), I find myself more attached and more filled with hope and happiness at the thought of our growing family of 6.  This addition is bringing rearrangements within our little house.  Our big boys will have to move into the basement "guest" room and our new little bundle will have to move into their old room.  J has put off his plans to get his pilot's license for now so that he can be around and help out with my less than easy, breezy pregnancy.  And, let's not forget little Jilly Bean...

I find myself wishing the next 6 months away.  My due date is July 30th...a mere 9 days after Jilly's first birthday.  By wishing that time away, however, I am wishing a farewell to Jilly Bean's infancy...a time so precious and fleeting.  We all know that the emotional state of a pregnant woman is lacking in stability and this has definitely caused more than one tearful episode.  She has had to deal with a lot of changes already due to the future sibling growing in the only home she knew 6 short months ago.  She is the most relaxed, glowing baby I have ever known though and has adjusted beautifully.  Coincidence?  I think not... :)

Can't wait to welcome our little "Squirt" to the world...is it July yet??? :)

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Hand Me That Soapbox, Please...

Ok...this rant of sorts has been spurred from this article and has nothing to do with my first love...my family, but with my 2nd love...animals.  Since reading this account I have stewed over it because it irritates me so badly.  The gist of the story is this: woman takes 1 year old dog to the humane society to relinquish it. Woman discloses that said dog is destructive (severely so...tearing up walls, carpet, etc.) when left alone.  Humane society discloses that this dog is likely not an adoption candidate and will most likely be euthanized and said woman signs paperwork to relinquish the dog.  Upon returning to her car and rethinking the deed, she has a change of heart and returns, only to find that the dog has already been euthanized.  And people are pissed at the humane society!

Let me give you a different scenario...this happens to be a true story.  I worked at a very large, privately funded, open admission "kill" shelter (the phrase irks me, but I will use it in this context).  This means that this shelter will take ANY animal that walks through the door, whether it be the cute, fuzzy, snuggly puppy that everyone wants or the 12 year old, disease-ridden tom cat with half a tail and one working eye that nobody wants, and everything in between.  Naturally, not every animal will be adopted, nor should they be.  Face it people...some of these animals are not adoptable.  On one of these "ordinary" days I was nearing the end of my shift as a vet tech and working in an area known as Return for Treatment (RFT).  It was a service provided by the shelter where people could make appointments following adoption for any medical problems (shelter-related) that may arise in the weeks following adoption.  I was just about to lock the door when I saw a man walking up with a large german shepherd.  I immediately recognized the dog because I had examined him several days prior.  He was memorable because he was such a great dog.  Shepherds tend to be on the anxious, less stable side and this dog had had such a calm, delightful demeanor.  The 5 year old purebred shepherd was confident, but affectionate and when I tested a few commands on him he enthusiastically obliged.  He knew his stuff and he was an easy dog to work with.  I couldn't fathom why anyone had given him up and I don't recall now what the reason on his form was, but it was one of the more common one answer reasons..."moving" or "allergies" or something along those lines.  He was a perfect adoption candidate and I kenneled him and initialed my approval for his adoption.

I was surprised to see him returning and my first thought was that he must have come down with kennel cough, common in shelters.  I held the door open for him and returned to my spot behind the desk and asked how I could help.  He choked back tears and my heart started breaking.  He and his wife were probably in their 50's.  They had put their names on the purebred list looking for a german shepherd specifically and when they received the call that there was a 5 year old male at the shelter they immediately drove down to meet him.  It was love at first sight and they adopted him that afternoon.  They were retired, so they had plenty of time to work with him, but he recounted that there was no work to be done!  He never had an accident, he went to the door and softly whined every time he had to go without fail.  He only barked when someone was approaching the door and then stopped.  He didn't jump up on people, he was calm and obeyed every command given.  He even walked perfectly on leash.  The 2nd day they had him they had a dinner planned and their grandkids were coming over.  They were nervous waiting for everyone to arrive...this would be a big test.  Shepherds don't always have the greatest track record with kids. Much to their surprise, however, when the kids arrived, he happily greeted them with soft licks to their cheeks and that was it.  He happily played with them all evening and they continued to fall in love.  Then the 3rd day came.  They had tickets to a baseball game and would be leaving their beloved beast for the first time, but it would be only for a few hours.  They had no qualms about leaving him after 2 perfect days observing such a collected dog.

After a beautiful day at a spring baseball game they began their drive home and received a phone call from their neighbor.  He was just calling to tell them that he had seen their new dog running in the neighborhood and had him in their back yard to be retrieved whenever they got home.  How could that be?  They left him securely in their house.  They returned home and walked in to find not a home, but a disaster area.  Every window treatment had been torn down, furniture had been demolished.  Walls and doors had been clawed and scratched at desperately, leaving blood behind as he looked for a way to escape.  They even found water running in the bathroom sink at full blast.  Still they couldn't figure out how he had gotten out.  They searched the house in tears trying to figure out what had gone on and finally the wife went upstairs and discovered the broken window.  In his terror and desperation at being left and in a last attempt at finding and joining his new beloved clan he jumped through a second story window.  He survived it...unscathed, but his new owners hadn't.  They had fallen in love and discovered that the dog that had gripped their heart from the moment they saw him had a horrible secret.  He was terrified of being alone to the point that he would gladly harm himself to cure his loneliness.  You can't stick a dog lake this in a crate...they will chew through it eventually, leaving teeth and claws behind as needed to escape their "prison".  It's questionable whether a case such as this is even rehabilitatable in the best of situations...who is willing to take something like this on and is it fair for the poor animal?  By the time the story had been relayed to me the man was sobbing and gripping the dog around his beautiful neck as he said his goodbyes.  I apologized to the man for their terrible experience and he quickly and very graciously thanked our organization for all that we did day in and day out and found no fault in us...if only his previous owner had been as honest about his history as the woman in the link above.  I walked away with the regal dog on the end of a slack leash and placed him in a kennel...he had given us no signs when in the shelter.  He seemed perfectly well-adjusted.  A few calls to some rescues and the same number of "no's" later, his fate was confirmed and he was peacefully euthanized...not killed...euthanized.  I was able to hold it together through the whole experience, but sat in my car on the phone with my now husband and sobbed about it.  I could feel their hearts breaking and I hurt for the terror that that poor dog experienced as well.  Someone tell me it's fair to prolong that kind of fear!

There are people who will argue that a dog should be placed in a foster home to see if rehab is possible.  Foster homes are few and far between...the fact is that there are more animals that need foster homes than there are foster homes available.  Just as there are more animals that need permanent homes than there are permanent homes available.  To add to the complication, foster homes are purely made up of volunteers.  What kind of volunteers open their homes up to homeless animals?  People who have a very sensitive heart for animals.  If there is probability that an animal is not going to end up adoptable or rescue-able how can a shelter place that animal in a foster home only to tell them, "oh well, we gave it our best shot?"  Shelters have a responsibility to take care of their volunteers as much as they do the animals in their charge.

I have probably had my soapbox long enough, but the truth that I want to be extremely evident in this post is that these shelters are not horrible places that are just looking for a reason to "kill" an animal.  People agonize over these decisions...decisions that are made HUNDREDS of times every day.  These are not taken lightly and the people who work in these places are on the same side as every other animal lover out there.  The one year old lab in the first story linked here was not euthanized out of spite for the woman who left her behind...they were simply trying to do the kindest thing for the pup.  Shelters are not doggie spas.  No dog wants to be left there...it's stressful, scary, loud and cold...and VERY far from home.  This is becoming very cliche, but the only cure for these situations is to SPAY and NEUTER your pets.  I hope one person can read this and suddenly realize what shelters are up against...it's a sad place staffed by wonderful people.

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Sleepy Smiles...

Last night I had a moment...you know, the kind where you remember to take stock in what is right in your life and try to leave behind all that mundane stuff you were stressing about just moments before.  We have been plagued with illness for the last 2 months.  With X-man starting his first year of pre-school, our immune systems are all being tested.  Our little petri dish goes off to play with all of those other little petri dishes and we all end up hacking up a lung or puking our guts out.  Sounds fun, doesn't it? I, myself, have been particularly unwell the last few weeks, mostly through no fault of X-man's, though, as I had a severe allergic reaction to some antibiotics that I had been on and then a week later, this past Friday, ended up with another unexplained fever leaving me miserable once more.  I lamented to my mom and husband after 4 days of the crud that I was having a hard time finding that Christmas spirit this year, or finding any light ahead at all, knowing that even IF I would survive this particular bout (yes, sometimes even I can be a drama queen) that there would be more crud lurking around some unexpected corner at some surely most inopportune moment.

Well, Tuesday I finally felt better and was trying to pep-talk myself out of the bah humbugs and then bedtime for the kiddos rolled around last night.  I snuck off into Jilly's cozy little room to feed her one last time before bed.  We snuggled in the rocker in the dark room and I strained to see her sweet little features to the tiny dim glow of a night light across the room.  She finished off and seemed to wiggle into me as I could barely make out that familiar milk drunk stare up at me.  Every Mommy bone in my body told me, "lie her down when she is drowsy...better not rock that girl to sleep!" I couldn't help it in the moment, though, feeling that chunky, little body snuggling so into me it was as if she was trying to become one with my belly again.  I had been looking so intently trying to tell what her eyes were doing...were they still open...maybe a little...that I hadn't noticed the big grin that rested behind her binky I had quickly popped in when the milk had run out.  I focused intently on that smile until she had "that moment"...haven't you had it?  That moment when you are resting your head on that perfect pillow, in your perfect bed and your world is perfect and blissful and it's not until you just start crossing into that state between consciousness and unconsciousness when you feel your whole body relax and it's THAT moment when your cheeks and lips suddenly go limp that you realize you had been smiling all along.  The best of days end that way.  When I saw sweet Jilly's little smile fade that way, it nearly brought tears to my eyes (OK, maybe "nearly" is understating it a bit).  To know that she felt so content in my arms...to feel that kind of bliss and fall asleep so happily for a moment so seemingly routine to me, reminds me that I need to find such joy in the little moments (I certainly did in this one).




SO...this is a BIG Merry Christmas to everyone!  I am going to love on, kiss and enjoy my sweet little family, sick or well and eagerly get caught up in the contagious joy my kids are oozing right now!  Consider it done! :) 

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Four Years Old????

How did this happen?  And why am I so shocked?  I remember when you were a teeny tiny newborn and I thought 4 years seemed so far away and here we are.  You are in preschool now and Kindergarten is just around the corner.  You may as well be graduating, you are so big now.  But, please don't.  If I could freeze you in time right now, I wouldn't hesitate. :)

Stella says, "Mmmmm!"  X-man says, "Thank you Uncle Bubba!"
Daddy helping you read your Birthday card
I am so proud of the little boy you have become.  You are oh-so-sweet, polite and an amazing big brother.  You took care of me so well while I was pregnant with your sister over this last year, making sure both she (you knew you were having a sister long before we did) and I were OK.  You patted my back as I heaved over the toilet during horrible bouts of morning sickness, concerned that your little sister would fall out of my mouth.  I love the way you love...with your whole little being.  It is not unusual for you to jump out of your seat at the table when Gokey drops his cup or spoon on the floor to scoop it up and hand it to him, proclaiming, "here you go, buddy!"  If Jilly Bean starts crying and I can't come to her rescue right away I now walk into the room to find you fighting to hold her tubby little baby body (more than 1/3 of your weight) in your arms trying to soothe her from her tears.  If I wasn't around, there's no doubt that your little brother and sister would be just fine...you are a wonderful surrogate mommy!

And, wow...you are SO smart!  You have spent the entire last year asking every imaginable question possible!  Your favorites are, "what does _______ do?" and "what does _______ mean?"  It's exhausting sometimes, but I try my very hardest to answer every one of your questions, though sometimes you even have me stumped.  And you have a mind like a steel trap!  Nothing escapes you...especially the things I wish would escape you. :) You saw a marshmallow gun at a consignment event back in February and that has been your biggest wish since.  Not one marshmallow gun, but two...so Gokey can have one too.  What 4 year old makes sure that his little brother is accounted for as well?  Or is it just that you have figured out that only one gun would be pretty boring.  Whatever the case, I hope your wish comes true and you get your TWO marshmallow guns since you have been asking for them for nearly 9 months now.   I had thought that the "maybe for your birthday" answer would have helped you to forget about it at the time, instead you held onto that hope with all of your might!
Birthday Cake Bots
Make a Wish!
I hope it comes true... :) 











Oh, and PRESCHOOL!  You LOVE school.  You tell everyone who asks about school that you have to go to learn so you can be an astronaut and fly a spaceship someday.  Today you had your Halloween parade at school and wore that astronaut costume with pride.  A couple of weeks into school, Mrs. Castello commented that you are such a sweet boy!  Didn't surprise me a bit...I already knew it. :) As much as I adore your teachers and love that you are having so much fun and adjusting so well, it kills me a little bit to hear you singing a song or sharing a tidbit of info that I have never heard.  Until this point everything you knew came from me or your daddy and this new stage just means you are taking one more little step toward growing up.  You are doing it so beautifully and making it look so easy...a little too easy.





So...with a tear...made up of a LOT of joy and a little bit of heartbrokenness too...I wish you the HAPPIEST of Birthdays!  Four.years.old...how did that happen?  I love you, X-man!

My little man, just minutes old...shouldn't have blinked :)


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Can't Help Myself...

They're just too stinkin' cute not to share...plus my new camera is AWESOME! :)

Who couldn't love this kid?


OMGosh!




The Many Faces of Gokey

Whaaaa?

"I hear sumping..."

Whatchoo lookin' at?

The smolder...

Wow!

Who Me?






Love my babies... :)